Coffee House Girl

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Posts by Coffee House Girl

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  67

  Powerfully heart-wrenching experience by FORMER BETHLITE

  by Black Man in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wanting to post an experience by a former bethelite.

  the first part was just published with the other two coming overt the next couple of weeks.

  click the link.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I could relate to so much of her story (including the same state, I love Birch Run ), it was a joy to read and gave me satisfaction to know that I am not alone here-

  CHG
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  67

  Tech49 on HOURS, TIME, and REPORTS

  by Tech49 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i thought i would share some of my observations on counting field service time, reports, etc.

  and how those reports are viewed, to those that are still so fixated on numbers.. i served as secretary on the service committee for many years, and have seen it all!.

  i was really disheartened when wt changed the requirement for aux pioneering to allow for 30 hrs, instead of the 50 it has been for so long.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Oh...my....God, I wish I had known these tricks when I was a dub...I was so stupidly honest when I could've been goofing off the whole time

  Very interesting perspective though, enjoyed reading

  CHG
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  20

  Out of the mental cell stuck in the physical prison......no-win situation

  by Kensho in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  jdubs are fond of quoting peter "where are we to go lord"... well the answer for me has been this forum for last couple of years which is really sad because i should be able to talk to my lifelong friends instead of faceless avatars.

  ( don't get me wrong this place has helped me through some really rough times mentally kudos to terry, cedars,slimboyfat, blondie,jwfacts and many others.).

  the shun gun has prevented me from making the move completely out of this cult i have given my life to.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I'm glad you got to vent, your post makes my heart ache for all of you out there that continue to have to lead that "double life" for family. When things became unbearable for me on the inside and I wasn't ready to pull the trigger yet, I started running. I think the exercise really helped to work stuff out inside my head, and the endorphins were needed to help fight the depression resulting from feeling so trapped and anxious. So I also think the hobby idea is a good one.

  CHG
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  41

  Another Newbie?

  by DJS in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i guess i'm a newbie.

  i've been reading (lurking) for a looooonnnnnggggg time, but have finally joined and this is my first post.

  my story is of course very similar to all the others.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Welcome!

  Thank you for your first post, as I am now pursuing my undergrad (senior status, one year to go) and would also like to go to grad school. I like to read about post-exit success stories, it helps me to keep plugging along to secure a happier future outside the borg!

  CHG
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  17

  were friendships in other congregations discouraged?

  by hoser in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had a good friend with a lot of common interests but he was in a congregation about 40 miles away.

  we did a lot together with both of our families.

  until we had a local needs part about association with ones not in our own congregation.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I remember as a teen the elders warning us about the "city" youth in urban congregations, I lived in a small rural territory and it was the elder's opinion that the city congregations were a little fast and loose with their youth, and they were getting in more trouble "dirty dancing"....we were counseled to not hang out with them as a group without adult chaperone's present

  CHG
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  33

  Do you feel guilty?

  by new hope and happiness in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have recently been having a feeling of guilt for having escaped the w.t while so many friends and family remain trapped.. has anyone else ever had similar feelings?.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I remember feeling guilty when I first left that I was a bad person abandoning my family and friends (I also felt selfish)...but I was helped to realize that the guilt was the "cult-mentality" talking....we were taught in the org. that those who leave are being selfish and only thinking of themselves rather than our families (or abandoning our loyalty to the org). The idea and definition of "loyalty" was something I struggled with for a while, the word "loyal" is often thrown around in JW land and we defined ourselves by our degree of loyalness. We feel that we are a failure.

  But in reality, we all have our own life decisions and paths to take, just because we decide on one particular path does not mean that we are failing others...

  I do as many on this board do, I choose to love my family and friends even if they cannot reciprocate & I will always leave the door open if they want to talk or need help..but if they choose to leave it has to be for their own personal reasons-

  CHG
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  66

  Another Newbie

  by Skinnedsheep in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i recently came to the realization that the organization is corrupt and is false.

  my story is similar to many i think.

  i was raised in the religion, pioneered and served as an elder for a number of years.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Welcome to the board!

  I was a born in and was married to a MS who DA'd and disappeared (I havent' seen him in over seven years and I left the org 3 years ago after experiencing the unloving attitude of the elder body) I'm trying to fix the college thing, I didn't know about this board when I was trying my "fade" so I made some mistakes by saying too much and now I am shunned even though I was never DF'd. I would take the advise of many here to read and study more, be very careful trying to talk to family that is still "in", you don't want to put up too many red flags...just try to stay under the radar after all, armageddon is NOT comming soon- you have time!

  Best of luck!

  CHG
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  19

  Moving out, away and starting a new post JW life

  by OneDayillBeFree in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  recently at my last meeting, an older brother "in good standing" got disfellowshipped.. sitting only two seats away from him, i saw as he burst into tears as lifelong friends and family began their shunning and immediate gossip in the form of whispers came up from above the brothers and sisters in the kingdom hall.

  i felt like giving him a hug and telling him that it was going to be okay and that whatever the reason for his disfellowshipment was, it didnt matter and that god still loved him but before i could muscle up enough courage to do so, he stood up in tears and left.. i shed a few silent tears for him.

  i didn't see anyone else do the same.. it was at that moment that i realized without a doubt that living this way is just not worth it at all.. so i've thought about it long and hard and now i just want to move far away and just start new again.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Oneday,

  Oh I forgot appartment hunting experience/advise: I personally found a nice small appt. inside a large old victorian house that had been split up into 3 appartments, it was owned by an older hippie couple who just asked for $200 down and I never signed a lease or filled out an application. It was ideal for me since I was just starting out (didn't have much money for first and last months rent w/deposit), there were a few quirks in living in a century old house with hippies for landlords, but overall it worked out well and I had a lot of privacy...plus it was cute and cozy on the inside (outside the house looked like it was always in disrepair, people in town called it the ghosthouse).

  If you are worried about money you could also put your name on a waiting list for "income-based" appartment buildings, the rent would be cheap and based on your income so you know you could afford it with proper budgeting (but a bit more noisy and smoke filled, and as a JW we hit those a lot in the door to door preaching). Some people like to go through those especially to help build credit, those types of places do at least report to the credit bureau so you have can have a good record if you try to apply to rent anywhere else in the future.

  Just my two cents!

  CHG
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  29

  just got an email from a jw friend

  by outofthelionsden in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi guys, so i got an email form an old jw friend that i haven't seen in a long time , i moved away to another state a few years ago.

  so she sent me an email to tell me that she found out that i had left "jehovahs organization" and that she has been crying for weeks because she always looked up to me ( i was always that kid that pioneered & always had demonstrations and experiences in the district and circuit assemblies) she said that she's not judging me but that she cant believe i would do that , that i know better and that there is no reason ever to leave and hopes that we wake up before its to late..... i have to respond but i know she wont hear ttatt there deep in, so any suggestions would be appreciated on what to respond.. ( im so heart broken and tiered at this point.

  i know she is doing it out of love, she's actually the only person that has contacted me, not even my family has done that.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I got a similar email about six months ago by a person from my old congregation who started texting me out of nowhere...he talked about how their family misses me so and looked up to me...then ending the email with the classic question, so why did you leave?

  I tried to carefully answer his question and put in a comment that "I am not trying to sway you away from your faith, but this is what really happened" in hopes of making him feel that I was giving him a straightforward answer. His response was much colder then his texts and emails before, he said "I'm sorry that happened to you, just be careful". I never heard from him after that....sometimes you cannot sway your JW friends, they have to come to TTATT on their own.

  I was still happy with my email response to him, I did express that I cared for his family, wished the best for them, and would be there anytime that they needed help. I also got to say that the WT lies when they say that those who leave are unhappy and unfulfilled, I wrote that the opposite was true and that for the first time I feel like a happy well-balanced woman. Maybe it made him think, or maybe put him into cult panic mode...I have no idea.

  CHG
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  18

  Ladies, do you think you have public speaking skills because of Theocratic Ministry School?

  by Iamallcool in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  Coffee House Girl

  No not really....I was very good at writing and the TMS nurtured that skill, but I am shy and reserved with a soft-spoken voice....and I find in the college life that when I have to do class presentations I am just as nervous and my words still to not come out the same as I have written on paper (same as when I was a dub).

  There are people who are "naturally" talented in the public speaking department and excell at that, I see it in college as well as when I was a JW.

  CHG